


Return of the Enemy

by Skyler10



Series: One Human Life [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-07
Updated: 2015-02-07
Packaged: 2018-03-10 21:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3303383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyler10/pseuds/Skyler10
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once upon a time, Bad Wolf destroyed the Daleks with the sweep of her hand. Years later, after all she’s seen, battle-scarred Agent Rose Tyler has a much worse demon to fight. Trigger warning: PTSD</p>
            </blockquote>





	Return of the Enemy

**Author's Note:**

> I hope this little bite of comfort fluff will be really validating to anyone who deals with anxiety and the doubt around it. You are not alone. Even our strong “fearless” heroines deal with this stuff. If only it worked out this way all of the time… ;)

A single scream from the robot and Agent Rose Tyler was flying out the double doors. Running for her life through the halls of Torchwood. Until she realized that nothing was chasing her, that is. The panic didn’t subside, however. She hugged her arms into herself, aching from how hard she hit the doors as she ran. Heartbeat still racing, she tried to process what she had just seen and heard. A Dalek. Here in Pete’s World. It wasn’t possible, but then, how many times had she fought to destroy them? How many more times had the Doctor? It was futile. They would always keep coming back no matter what they did, their personal poltergeists, wrecking everything in their lives.

Despair mingled with her panic attack for a potent cocktail and she crumbled to the ground right there in the hall. She pulled herself up to sit against the wall and clamored to get her mobile out of her pocket. With trembling fingers, she tapped his name on her recent call list and held her phone to her ear as steady as she could. She took in a few deep breaths as it rang but that only reminded her of how violently she was shaking.

“Hallo, dear!” her husband answered. “Things a bit dull down here in the lab. How’s it up there? Anything fun?”

“Doctor…” It was only his name, but the sob in her voice told him much more.

“Rose? What’s wrong.” It was more a demand than a question, the Oncoming Storm ready to rescue if need be.

She shook her head, trying to convince herself it was nothing. That she was overreacting. But her heart wouldn’t listen, only turn her panic into weeping. She tried to reply as her body began rocking itself to calm down.

“Rose. Please answer me. Are you safe?” She could hear the anxiety in his voice now, vivid memories of when “no” was the only honest answer to that question surfacing in both of their minds.

“Yes. I’m ok. It’s just… there’s a… it’s here. They weren’t supposed to survive. We killed them. We killed them all so many times. Doctor, they keep comin’ back…” Ok, good, there were words coming out of her mouth now, but unfortunately none of them seemed to be a complete thought.

He understood anyway. Even if he hadn’t, the muffled “EXTERMINATE” in the background echoing through the hallway would have given it away.

“No. No! No no no no no no. Rose, get out of there. I know we beat them before but I don’t have the TARDIS.” It was his turn to shudder at their reoccurring demons’ reappearance.

“They have it confined, deweaponized and restrained,” she assured him, years of training finally kicking into gear. “It’s fighting but it’s not going anywhere. They’ve demobilized it’s… flying things.” She was sure at some point she knew the anatomy of a Dalek like the back of her hand but right now her brain was occupied with flashbacks and fear.

“I’m on my way up.” He rung off without saying goodbye, but she didn’t notice as the panic subsided and the tears stopped. She heaved in deep breaths and savored the cleansing oxygen. She tried to push up to stand, but her legs were too shaky to move, so he found her there with her head back against the wall, gripping her phone and trying to fight the aftershocks of the emotional attack – PTSD, her psych evaluation doctor had called it. She had attempted the recommended counseling sessions, but it was far too difficult to try to explain to an Earth-bound human the literal battles she had fought, much less the mental ones. The symptoms had faded over the past few years, but she knew it would never truly leave her, not after all she had seen. And done.

“C’mere,” the Doctor said gently, helping her to stand.

She clung tightly to his arms before drawing him into a full hug. As his arms wrapped around her, her beloved sanctuary, she let out a little whimper with one last involuntary shudder.

“Shh, it’s alright. I’m here now,” he soothed with light fingers through her hair.

“Thank you,” she mumbled against his lab coat.

They jumped at a loud BOOM from inside the containment facility. Cheers rang out.

A few seconds later, a door swung open behind Rose.

“Oh, um, sorry,” Jake stuttered as he noted her streaks of mascara and the Doctor’s desperate hold on her. “I just wanted to let you know it’s dead.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow in skepticism so Jake continued.

“Self-destruct. It exploded itself. The remains of the outer casing are being evaluated in separate pieces and the creature inside was incinerated. It was weak to begin with, barely survived the journey here, but waking up here in a cell half torn apart was too much for a Dalek. It died rather than surrender.”

“Not _too_ surprising from what I know of their wiring,” the Doctor sighed.

Jake nodded grimly and rushed back into the action as several scientists arrived.

“Looks like they’ve got things handled,” Rose evaluated. She looked up at the Doctor to read his expression. Would he want to go in to be part of the party? Order people about from his (well-earned) experience as the expert on Dalek destruction?

“Let’s go home,” he said softly with a kiss to her forehead. She hummed in agreement. She had had enough for the day and now that the immediate danger was over, her mind was replaying the situation in review of her actions. It wasn’t like her at all, she thought as she and the Doctor reached the elevator. She was the girl who stared down the survivors who popped out at Canary Wharf and bragged to them that she destroyed their emperor. She had been the Bad Wolf, had been on the Crucible, had escaped Davros himself.

She was silent the entire way home. The Doctor didn’t press her, recognizing the symptoms all too well. She took his hand as they walked in the door and led him to the couch. They collapsed into the cushions and sat in silence, just holding each other for a few minutes before she spoke.

“I ran away,” she stated simply. “I knew he wasn’t dangerous, not really. But I ran away anyway.”

“First off, it’s safe to assume any Dalek is a dangerous Dalek,” he reasoned with her, too much experience backing him up to choose one specific example. “Secondly, you wouldn’t have run away if you thought your team was in danger. Never. I know you, Rose.”

“Do you?” she asked ruefully. “Because I don’t. I don’t know who that girl was in there today. It wasn’t who I used to be. What happened to me, Doctor?”

A sharp pang cut through the Doctor’s single human heart at her words.

“I did. You met me.”

“No. No, don’t talk like that,” she warned him, knowing where this was going.

“I’m so sorry. For all of the ghosts and demons. For all the nightmares you’d never have if it wasn’t for me.”

“If it weren’t for you, I’d have died in a shop basement,” she reminded him.

“You know what I mean,” he muttered with a kiss to the top of her head.

“It was meeting you that made me strong. All we had been through, all I did to get back to you, then after… I used to be able to laugh in a Dalek’s face. Or eyestalk or whatever. Now I can’t even hear that voice without breaking down.”

“It’s ok, Rose. It happens to all of us at some point who’ve seen what we have. I’m not exactly the model of composure around them either.” He gave her a self-depreciating smile to lighten the mood, but she remained serious.

“What’s it gonna be next? We’re Torchwood agents, Doctor. If that had happened in the field, it could have gotten someone killed. _I_ could have gotten someone killed. By my selfish, weak, irresponsible-”

“Stop it,” he cut her off firmly. “You are not weak. Or selfish or irresponsible. Just the opposite. You fear them because you’ve seen what they can do. You remember it because over and over you were brave, self-sacrificing and _brilliant_.” She granted him the tiniest of smiles and his tone softened. “But you don’t have to be afraid anymore, Rose. I’m here now and I’m never going to let another Dalek anywhere near you as long as I live.”

 _“I think I’ve heard that one before,”_ she thought, but decided it was too mean to say aloud when he was being so sweet. So instead she teased him with a finger tracing down his chest and responded, “Sounds like a good deal to me.”

“You’re not weak for what you went through today,” he insisted again, knowing her too well. “You’re not.”

“Thank you,” she breathed against him and held him tighter.

“Rose?”

“Mmm?”

“You know how proud I am of you, right?” he asked, remembering a past doubt of hers.

“Even after today?” she asked, voice wobbling a bit at the vulnerability of the question.

“Yes. Especially today. You may not have fought a Dalek today but you won over something much worse.”

She sat up to meet his eyes.

“Your mind. Your memories. Your fear. You won today. And I couldn’t be more proud of you.”

Tears fell once more as she kissed him in gratitude for understanding, for being there, for all the little ways he saved her every day.

“Always healing me, my Doctor,” she mused, gliding her fingertips over his sideburns. He recaptured her lips to kiss her back.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“Love you too, my precious Rose.”

He thought of his promise to her and how he would keep it. He was designing her a secret sonic screwdriver, or a sonic pen, more accurately, as a surprise. It would be ages before he had it finished. It was only in the planning stages now, but he made a mental note to add “Dalek detector” to the list. He highly doubted she would ever need it, but perhaps it would make her feel safer.

Then again, if his 900+ years had taught him anything, it was never, ever, underestimate a Dalek.

 

 


End file.
